I'm shaking, and my hands tremble,
With fear
My thoughts assemble-
How will I ever get there?
Will I even belong?
I desperately seek an escape route
Tired of this pursuit
But then I remember-
Promises were made,
Blood sweat and tears, I'm afraid
What is this journey when will it end?
Will I work my way up?
When will I stop this game of pretend?
I tell myself it's okay to feel,
But this weakness in my knees,
it’s forcing me to kneel.
I wonder how am I ever going to heal?
I suppress my emotions and run in this race
For I have to show my face
To the world, to everyone who expects
Here's to forever living in this complex
While waiting for the race to end,
I continue to pretend
I smile and I laugh
but my tears too,
they need a vent.
I write today after an eternity
Hoping to find my identity.