I'm shaking, and my hands tremble,

With fear

My thoughts assemble-

How will I ever get there?

Will I even belong?

I desperately seek an escape route

Tired of this pursuit

But then I remember-

Promises were made, 

Blood sweat and tears, I'm afraid

What is this journey when will it end?

Will I work my way up?

When will I stop this game of pretend?

I tell myself it's okay to feel,

But this weakness in my knees,

it’s forcing me to kneel.

I wonder how am I ever going to heal? 

I suppress my emotions and run in this race

For I have to show my face

To the world, to everyone who expects

Here's to forever living in this complex

While waiting for the race to end,

 I continue to pretend

 I smile and I laugh 

but my tears too,

they need a vent.

I write today after an eternity

Hoping to find my identity.