(not today)

Sometimes when you’re living but you’re not really hopeful or expectant or that you just don’t want to continue to breathe. Sometimes you are just living. Sometimes you do things that may indicate (falsely) that it was expected of you to live one more day or the rest of your apparently busy and bright life. But unfortunately that is just a misconception. I fear that misconception. I fear leaving one thing or the other for the next day and I do not know if anybody is ever thankful for this procrastination, but I think that some people will be, after reading this because this procrastination prevents one from killing oneself and lets one live with all what one feels for one more day or the rest of one’s life. Living is challenging and so is dying. But the most challenging thing is to swing. The most challenging thing is to choose. For living you already are, you are breathing and eating and smiling and living, but what is it like to be dead? To be or not to be is the question. It’s hard to seek the answer, for this question is not just one. It is a series of questions that lead you into a tunnel from bright to dark, from light to night, it has doors and you have to choose which one to get into but you don’t know the path they lead to, you can only know by walking through it. There may be a way back but one might not be able to find it if one has gone too far.The brain is a huge space. Follow the light while you still can, for darkness will eat you up and you will end up in a drab place.